Hi, I’m Yves.
With over 10 years and more than 10.000 hours of experience in sexual mastery, I’ve helped men transform their lives by helping them gain confidence, freedom and joy in the bedroom. Every single man that I’ve coached has been touched in one way or another and most write to me, letting me know how their sex lives and overall lives have been transformed. But the only reason I can do something like this is because my own life was transformed. I know exactly what men are going through on their road to sexual mastery. That is because I have been there too, and I have gone all the way. I have worked relentlessly to overcome all the obstacles that were holding me back. I also let go of deeply ingrained false beliefs about sex and sexuality, and replaced them with healthy and empowering ones.
But I certainly did not start out being a sex coach and educator. I grew up in a small city in the south of the Netherlands with a lot of shame and taboos around the topic of sex. All through my teenage years and much of my twenties I experienced a mixture of confusion, performance anxiety and frustration when having sex, or even thinking about it. I pained my head trying to figure out what women actually wanted in the bedroom, and what my role should be. Watching porn and sharing grand stories with my male friends didn’t make me any wiser.
My first sexual experience was very disappointing. I remember thinking: “Holy crap, really, why does everyone find this so fucking special?” Ever since that first time this thought kept haunting me:
“How can something that is supposed to be so special, something that keeps so many people busy so much of the time, feel so utterly empty?”
When I got my first serious relationship, we had great sex. Or at least, that is what she told me. And yes, I enjoyed some of it, and the orgasm. But the feeling of emptiness stayed. Over the years, my bedpartners kept telling me I was doing a good job. Of course I liked hearing that. Then I got married. My sexual experiences with my wife deepened. But still…every time we had sex it felt like I was running into a brick wall.
I had this deep and unexplainable urge to merge with her, to dissolve into each other so completely that there would be nothing left of me or her.
I wanted to become one with two bodies, not just during orgasm but already before penetration. I wanted to penetrate her much, much deeper than I physically could with my cock. Back then, I didn’t know that this was very possible – and certainly no spiritual mumbo jumbo – and that one day I would be able to experience this consistently with any woman.
Back then, I just got frustrated. I didn’t know where to look for guidance. Tips and tricks that I found on the internet were fueling my misguided belief that porn seemed to tell me:
“You have to be a stallion, and have fast and furious sex.” So I taught myself how to have longer and harder erections. This did not make any difference. If anything, it made me focus even more on the physical, unsatisfying aspects of sex. It also made me more uncertain if my wife really liked what I was doing in the bedroom, or if she liked it better with her former boyfriend. So I focused even more on making my wife happy during sex, sometimes giving her as much as 4 orgasms before I would come. It didn’t work. Brick wall. Still there. Still two separate people doing their sex thing, no merging, melting or anything like that.
Then I discovered Tantra. And everything changed. In a short amount of time my sexual landscape changed beyond recognition. I found out that sex could be infinitely more fulfilling than mere penetration and an orgasm that lasted a few seconds. I also discovered that I had been trying to break through my brick wall the wrong.
I had been mostly focused on trying to do it right for my wife, playing little ‘chess games’ during sex. Strategy thinking. Repeating my most successful moves. “If I do this thing that worked miracles last week, she will be happy and hopefully do what I want in return.” “If she comes first, I can come afterwards without feeling guilty.”
Perhaps you recognise this?
- All these years I had been so busy focusing on her, that I didn’t really know what I wanted in the bedroom.
- Like, for real.
- I thought I knew my wife’s body as my own.
- Then I discovered I did not know my own body at all.
- There was no brick wall between me and my wife.
- The brick wall was in me.
I decided to quite my job as a lawyer and dedicate myself to studying Tantra and the art of sex. I began to feel alive in my body. I discovered my deepest longings, not only in the bedroom but also outside of it. I got divorced. For some years, I worked as a Tantric bodyworker and gigolo
My body got so sensitive that I was able to use it as an antenna to feel a woman’s body as if it was my own. During this time, I became multi-orgasmic. I experienced full body orgasms, orgasms that shifted my reality, orgasms that started in a woman’s body and would continue in mine, creating a continuous loop through both our bodies that buzzed us for minutes at a time. More and more men started to approach me, asking me for the best techniques to make their women scream with ecstatic pleasure. Some of them were open to hear what it was really all about. Others were just searching for quick fixes so that they could meet what they believed to be the golden standard of awesome sex. (based on erroneous cultural messages on sexuality and reinforced by porn)
Almost all of these men were looking for sexual validation by women. And I got it. Totally. I remember all these years where a lot of my self worth as a sexual being was hung up on my bed partners approval. And it wasn’t just the men. Many women approached me with misguided beliefs about sex. Beliefs that are very hard to debunk because our culture has done such a good job indoctrinating us. But hey, what can you expect? Who teaches you the art of epic sex in our taboo riddled society? Who teaches you that the key to an epic sex life is to first learn to connect to your own desires, your own pleasure, your own body?
Let’s face it: a satisfactory sex education is lacking, and this is damaging all of us. I know from my own painful experience that sexual confidence impacts a man hugely, and that if he isn’t sexually confident then he will not be confident in the rest of his life Sexual confidence comes from the inside out and women want more than a man that counts orgasms. Many of the guys out there that are experiencing sexual dysfunction, are suffering because of emotional and psychological issues rather than physical ones.
So I decided to start teaching men and women what I learnt during my more than 10.000 hours of practice.